A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.

It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.

Clothes form the intellect of the dandy.

Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.

And now the lads and lasses, following the example of the birds, bill and coo together.

If a man is right, he can't be too radical; if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.

The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned.