If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven?
Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
Knowledge is like money, the more a man gits the more he hankers for.
A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.