Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

Method is the arithmetic of success.

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Tears are a good alterative, but a poor diet.