When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.

If you have trouble with finding things you should get into some kind of therapy with a good therapist if you need, I mean I just believe in therapy for everybody. I really do. I don't think any body can escape it.

I want a man in my life, not in my house.

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.