I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me

A lot of gay men have a lot of sex. That's what we do. But I've stopped all that-the revolving door into my bedroom. Promiscuity. That was of its day, really.

I, as you may know, am no stranger to the organic courgette, but I still cannot work out who these gay footballers are.

I thought a dignified thing to do would be to live in the country by the time I'm 50 and write books

I'm not sure how aware of the rest of the world I am. I live a rather sheltered existence

I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke

The good thing about getting older is that, as you become less attractive, so you have less desire to go out and conquer everyone you see