The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.

I live in a kind of gay bubble. I live in a gay house, I drive a gay car. I eat gay food

I didn't think of myself as a tart, but I wouldn't argue with anyone who did

Just because someone's dead doesn't mean it's over. My grandfather died more than 25 years ago, but I still think of him a lot and smell his smell.

The English like eccentrics. They just don't like them living next door.

I, as you may know, am no stranger to the organic courgette, but I still cannot work out who these gay footballers are.

I was lightweight - that was the whole point of me