You say you’re sick, huh? Well, it looks like you’ve come down with a case of bullshit.

No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.

There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.

People are always trying to tell you how they feel. Some of them say it outright, and some of them, they tell you with their actions. And you have to listen. I don't know what will happen with your lady friend. I think she's a nice person, and I hope you get what you want. But do me a favor: Listen, and don't ignore what you hear.

Oh spare me, being stuck in your bedroom is not like prison. You don't have to worry about being gang-raped in your bedroom.

Sometimes its nice when people you love need you.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.