You say you’re sick, huh? Well, it looks like you’ve come down with a case of bullshit.

There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.

On My Last-Place Finish in the 50-Yard Dash During Little League Tryouts “It kinda looked like you were being attacked by a bunch of bees or something. Then when I saw the fat kid with the watch who was timing you start laughing…. Well, I’ll just say it’s never a good sign when a fat kid laughs at you.

If it's not bourbon or sweatpants, it's going in the garbage.... No, don't get creative. Now is not a creative time. Now is a bourbon and sweatpants time.

Sometimes its nice when people you love need you.

You say you’re sick, huh? Well, it looks like you’ve come down with a case of bullshit.

The thing with Bill Shatner is he brings something unique to everything he does. He's not the obvious choice for anything, but he always brings something special to it.