You say you’re sick, huh? Well, it looks like you’ve come down with a case of bullshit.

The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two.

I just wanted to compile these stories about growing up with my father and I wanted people to be able to enjoy them individually, but also the entire book as a whole.

What Im trying to say is that what makes you up, its always been around, and it always will be around. So really the only thing you should worry about is the part you're at right now. Where you got a body and a head and all that bullshit. Just worry about living, dying is the easy part.

You worry too much. Eat some bacon...what? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon.

When it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of.

I kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.