Oh spare me, being stuck in your bedroom is not like prison. You don't have to worry about being gang-raped in your bedroom.
Justin HalpernI kind of came to the conclusion after I did finally get married that love and relationships are just a series of horrific losses with hopefully one win.
Justin HalpernWhen it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of.
Justin HalpernOn My First Driving Lesson โFirst things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?โฆOkay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car thatโs not moving makes you an asshole.
Justin Halpern