No, you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty. Life will get mad at them, don't worry.

When it's asshole-tightening time, that's when you see what people are made of. Or at least what their asshole is made of.

You go ahead. I'd rather not be shot out of a tube into a pool filled with a bunch of nine-year-olds' urine.

Writing a book is incredibly pleasurable, but very solitary. You have total control, but sometimes that can drive you insane.

Sometimes its nice when people you love need you.

The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain't spitting it out.

I just wanted to compile these stories about growing up with my father and I wanted people to be able to enjoy them individually, but also the entire book as a whole.