I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for

I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.

I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.

Chinese people age overnight.

I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.