There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.

This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.

You never see an old man eating a Twix

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

I don't know why small chocolates are called fun-sized; I mean, if I called a midget fun-sized, they'd kick off.

Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.

Chinese people age overnight.