In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

In hell they will bore you, in heaven you will bore them.

As ridiculous to approve of property and let a few men have a grossly unfair share of it, as say you are all for marriage, and then let one man have all the wives.

In our society mothers take the place elsewhere occupied by the Fates, the System, Negroes, Communism or Reactionary Imperialist Plots; mothers go on getting blamed until they're eighty, but shouldn't take it personally.

The wind of change, whatever it is, blows most freely through an open mind.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.