In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money.

a perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is, like basted inside seams and letters answered by return, a sure sign of someone who hasn't enough to do.

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

As I look around the West End these days, it seems to me that outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.

It might be marvelous to be a man - then I could stop worrying about what's fair to women and just cheerfully assume I was superior, and that they had all been born to iron my shirts. Better still, I could be an Irish man - then I would have all the privileges of being male without giving up the right to be wayward, temperamental and an appealing minority.