Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

It would be nice to think that a censor could allow a genuine work of artistic seriousness and ban a titillating piece of sadism, but it would take a miracle to make such a distinction stick.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed, the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director face on).

Filing is concerned with the past; anything you actually need to see again has to do with the future.

In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.

Things a mother should know: how to comfort a son without exactly saying Daddy was wrong.