It has long been my boast that I can read or eat anything. But unfortunately, although I eat like a Hoover, I read so slowly that I am always on the smart book three years after everyone else has finished.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

It's a pity more men are not bastards by birth instead of vocation.

American patriotism is generally something that amuses Europeans, I suppose because children look idiotic saluting the flag and because the constitution contains so many cracks through which the lawyers may creep.

It has long been my boast that I can read or eat anything. But unfortunately, although I eat like a Hoover, I read so slowly that I am always on the smart book three years after everyone else has finished.

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.