No nice men are good at getting taxis.

One reason you are stricken when your parents die is that the audience you've been aiming at all your life - shocking it, pleasing it - has suddenly left the theater.

I cannot for the life of me see why the umpires, the only two people on a cricket field who are not going to get grass stains on their knees, are the only two people allowed to wear dark trousers.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

It's a pity more men are not bastards by birth instead of vocation.

The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.

As ridiculous to approve of property and let a few men have a grossly unfair share of it, as say you are all for marriage, and then let one man have all the wives.