American patriotism is generally something that amuses Europeans, I suppose because children look idiotic saluting the flag and because the constitution contains so many cracks through which the lawyers may creep.

I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

Things a mother should know: how to comfort a son without exactly saying Daddy was wrong.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

It's a pity more men are not bastards by birth instead of vocation.

Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.