American patriotism is generally something that amuses Europeans, I suppose because children look idiotic saluting the flag and because the constitution contains so many cracks through which the lawyers may creep.

I blame Rousseau, myself. "Man is born free", indeed. Man is not born free, he is born attached to his mother by a cord and is not capable of looking after himself for at least seven years (seventy in some cases).

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?