Pretty much everywhere I go, I'm pretty much thinking I'm going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

I have a no-apology policy.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I did feel very sexy and desirable. Those prisoners looked at me like no man ever did. I don't care how many people they killed.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly.