Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they're going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they're pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

No one teaches you how to do this. How do you let go of someone who you love so much?

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.

I am what you call a non-believer. I don't even want to say I'm an atheist because frankly I don't want to join their club either. But the point is, I am a fallen catholic, I'm not religious, and that's all well and good.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.