My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.

But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.

I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people's words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.