It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

I prefer big Oprah. I know Oprah wants to be skinny Oprah, but her head is too gigantic to fit on a skinny body. She has to accept that, like Kirstie Alley, she was meant to be... ahm... voluptuous!

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She's my lady-in-waiting as well.

I was raised right — I talk about people behind their backs. It's called manners.

I certainly immerse myself in as many crazy Hollywood events as I can because you never know where you can pick up material.