My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'

My teeth are all my own. I've just finished paying for them.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them.

My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'

Laughter is the greatest music in the world and audiences come to my shows to escape the cares of life. They don't want to be embarrassed or insulted. They want to laugh and so do I - which is probably why it works.

If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute -- Ive got to have them.