My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.'
My teeth are all my own. I've just finished paying for them.
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her.
I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime. My parents were wonderful when I told them I wanted to be an entertainer.
Men's legs have a terribly lonely life - standing in the dark in your trousers all day.
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute -- Ive got to have them.