I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

Always respect your superiors, if you have any.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.