I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own.

Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...

Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.

What has six balls and screws Texans? The Texas Lottery.

I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.