I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

My goal as a young man, to be fat, famous and financially fixed by 50.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

I don't feel bad about losing.

Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.