If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus.

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?

I don't think where people come from is that important. It doesn't matter if you come from reality TV. The question is whether you can inspire people.

I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets.

I believe that Willy Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama.