If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him.

Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.

There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

Golf is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a pimp.