If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.

I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won't let them get married. So that's not common sense.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

If you're going to be an artist, you need to be an original.

If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right.