I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of nowhere.

If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm.

God created whiskey to keep the Irish from taking over the world.

There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas.

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.