I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

I believe that Willy Nelson is the hillbilly Dalai Lama.

If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

Seventeen publishers rejected the manuscript, at which time we knew we had something pretty hot.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn't know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.