If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate outdoors and to attach a certain amount of importance to this popular pastime.

I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.

We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning.

A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.