A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty.

No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror.

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not only tells the truth about the travel-writing racket, it gets to the heart of some of the travel industry's best-kept secrets.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.