New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.

If you're waiting for inspiration, you'll wait until you're dead.

I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest.

Since I was 14. I grew up surfing. That's all I wanted to do.

I think having a daughter is just terrifying. Women in the world get the short end of the stick all the time in many, many ways, and so it's just terrifying to be like, "Well, this is the world we chose to bring you into. I'm sorry." It's not knowing how to prepare for that.

So many funny things happen to me everyday I should have a TV show.

I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.