New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.

I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest.

Just start writing and you'll find what you want to say.

I used to be really snobby about music. I'm not as snobby as I used to be, though. I have this great bit about not getting mad about music anymore. It just happens when you get older.

I've had a good run of birthdays, and now no one will notice when I die.

If you're waiting for inspiration, you'll wait until you're dead.

I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.