Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.

Every man serves a useful purpose: a miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.

Marriage is a good deal like taking a bath-not so hot once you get accustomed to it.

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.

A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys it.