Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.