The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

If at first you don't succeed, you may be at your level of incompetence already.

Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

An optimist is one who makes the best of it when he gets the worst of it.