I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

. . . if you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it.

There are two sorts of losers - the good loser, and the one who can't act.