The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean.

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.

Computers can solve all kinds of problems except the unemployment problem they create.

When you see yourself quoted in print and you’re sorry you said it, it suddenly becomes a misquotation.

Give a child enough rope and he will trip you up.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.