The reason crime doesn't pay is that when it does, it is called a more respectable name.

Prejudice is one of the world's greatest labor-saving devices; it enables you to form an opinion without having to dig up the facts.

Many live by their wits but few by their wit.

Middle age is when the best exercise is one of discretion.

Scientists are still trying to produce life in the laboratory, but it shouldn't be difficult if the laboratory assistant is pretty and willing.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Only mediocrities rise to the top in a system that won't tolerate wave making.