If I said what I was really thinking about this f**ked up world, the government would assassinate me like all the other people they've killed.

When I was 6, I saw a commercial that Jessica Simpson was in and that was the first time I felt my little heart flutter.

Chat to the ghosts! That's what I do!

I'd send Christina Aguilera to Mars cos she'd scare all the aliens!

I haven't shaved my private parts, but I dyed them once for a laugh! They looked more ginger, though!

I try to be kind to people, to treat them with respect. And I'm proud of that.

If I fancy a girl, I'll tell her. I'll say: 'You're fit.