His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro.

I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.

Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"

If Jack Nicklaus had to play my tee shots, he couldn't break 80. He'd be a pharmacist with a string of drugstores in Ohio.