I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.

You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.