I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

99% of the putts that are short don't go in the hole

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

I never think of yesterday. Can't do anything about it.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.