I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

I love watching Anthony Kim play, but I'm not a fan of the way he grips down a good two inches on his full-swing shots. Choking down lightens the club's swingweight and effectively makes the shaft stiffer.

Grizzly Adams did have a beard.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro.