I've played golf with three U.S presidents.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

Somewhere along the line I'll be recognized as one of the top players in the Nicklaus era. That's all I want to be remembered for.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Chi Chi Rodriguez had as good a pair of hands as anybody I ever saw, and more shots than you can imagine. But Chi Chi had a habit of turning simple shots into difficult ones.

Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.

A rough should have high grass. When you go bowling they don't give you anything for landing in the gutter, do they?