Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

My family was so poor the lady next door gave birth to me.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I think a lot of Jim Thorpe, the Olympian, and his accomplishments.

Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"

I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife.

I'm actually a very quiet person off the golf course. I talk 150 miles per hour when I'm at the course, but when in private I very seldom ever open my mouth.