Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus

I still swing the way I used to, but when I look up the ball is going in a different direction.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

99% of the putts that are short don't go in the hole

They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet.

I'm really going to do my homework. I'm going to be down there on the practice tee finding out if a guy's wife beat him up the night before, important stuff like that. Stuff that people want to know.