There is no such thing as a natural golfer but you become one by hitting thousands of balls

I played the tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.

I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater.

Two things that are not long for this world: dogs that chase cars and professional golfers who putt for pars.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.