Two things that are not long for this world: dogs that chase cars and professional golfers who putt for pars.

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.

Yes, I think I have the best swing on the Tour. Why have scores comedown in the last ten years? Partly because they are imitating me.

I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.

Who can say I have a bad swing? The only thing that matters in golf is the score you put on the board. You don't have to look pretty out there, you have to win. Look at my record and tell me who has a better swing than mine.

I thought Manual Labor was a Mexican golf pro.

Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story