Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Living in Dallas, I root for the Mavericks and the Stars and the Cowboys, but I've always pulled for the Chicago Cubs. I enjoy watching them play.

Caddies are a breed of their own. If you shoot 66, they say, "Man, we shot 66!" But go out and shoot 77, and they say "Hell, he shot 77!"

Two things that are not long for this world: dogs that chase cars and professional golfers who putt for pars.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play.