Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

Who can say I have a bad swing? The only thing that matters in golf is the score you put on the board. You don't have to look pretty out there, you have to win. Look at my record and tell me who has a better swing than mine.

No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.