I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

It's the most fun I've had with my clothes on.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

If it wasn't for golf, I don't know what I'd be doing. If my IQ had been two points lower, I'd have been a plant somewhere.

I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.

Every golfer should come to the first tee with fourteen clubs, a dozen balls, a handful of tees, and at least one great golf story

If you've ever driven across Texas, you know how different one area of the state can be from another. Take El Paso. It looks as much like Dallas as I look like Jack Nicklaus