I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

You have to understand, I don't play golf for fun. It's my business. When the mailman starts delivering mail on his off day, that's when I'll start playing golf for the hell of it. I like to play in tournaments. There are many great courses around the world that I have never played that are next door to tournaments. I have not played them because I don't play for fun.

I have an orthopedic pillow that's made out of a sponge material. I have a plate in my throat, and I have to be careful or I could end up with a bad neck in the morning. That pillow is a must everywhere I go.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Yes, I think I have the best swing on the Tour. Why have scores comedown in the last ten years? Partly because they are imitating me.