I may buy the Alamo and give it back to Mexico.

Only bad golfers are lucky. They're the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

Who can say I have a bad swing? The only thing that matters in golf is the score you put on the board. You don't have to look pretty out there, you have to win. Look at my record and tell me who has a better swing than mine.

I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.