Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?

Now a Jew, in the dictionary, is one who is descended from the ancient tribes of Judea, or one who is regarded as descended from that tribe. That's what it says in the dictionary; but you and I know what a Jew is - One Who Killed Our Lord. And although there should be a statute of limitations for that crime, it seems that those who neither have the actions nor the gait of Christians, pagan or not, will bust us out, unrelenting dues, for another deuce.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.