Wouldn't it be nice if all the people who are lonesome could live in one big dormitory, sleep in beds next to each other, talk, laugh, and keep the lights on as long as they want to?

If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Satire is tragedy plus time.

I want to perform an unnatural act.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.